Category Archives: Fiction

My New Man, Jason

With everything I have been through in my life, I didn’t think there was such a thing as a good guy. Every guy in my life has hurt me in some way in another. For the first time, I have met someone who treats me like a princess. He tells me everyday that he loves me, that I am perfect for him. I find it hard to beleive. LOL When you spend your whole life being treated like crap by guys, it seems kind of weird to meet a good guy for once.

He is such a great guy. I am moving to Portland and will be with him soon. He is the love of my life. ūüôā

Advertisements

I am such a bad blog writer. Now that I have to find a computer, I haven’t been writing as much!! Got some good news though.. I am returning to college in summer term!!!!

My Biggest Dream

What is every girl’s¬† dream when they are younger? To have a fairytale wedding, big house with kids. Well I had the fairytale wedding to the wrong man. I found the strength to divorce him 2 years ago. Now though, my biggest dream is coming to an end on January 25.

For as long as I could remember,  I have always had female problems. In 2002, I lost one ovary due to polycystic ovarian syndrome. On January 25, I will lose the other one.

I am having an extremely hard time. As most know, women only have two ovaries. Now I will have none, and my dream of becoming a mother is ending. I didn’t make the decision lightly.

As many know, I have a huge pain pill addiction. Well, when I get ovarian cysts, I am almost always put on some pain pill. I have done birth control, and have been on the shot since April. However, since Feb. of this year, I have had over 30 cysts. Since August, they don’t even come in a cycle. I have them all the time.

So I asked a specialist how can i prevent cysts 100%. He said the only way is to remove the other ovary. I prayed, discussed and researched what removing my last ovary would mean. I came to the conclusion, that I will not be able to completely overcome my pain pill addiction when I have ovarian cysts.

I made the decision that yeah, I will have to use pain medication for a couple day after the surgery, but after that I shouldn’t have anymore cysts. It was a hard decision and one that sometimes I do doubt. However, my recovery from addicition is more important to me than having children. How bad is that? What does that say about me? I don’t know. Maybe I’m selfish, but at least I know what I want.

So, please comment and tell me what you think aout this.

My Perfect World

In my perfect world, there is always something for someone to do. I know it sounds kind of corny, but there would be peanut butter and jelly growing on trees, just because that is my favorite thing in the world. Just about any kind of jelly but orange marmalade.

My world is high tech. There would be robots that would do everything you and I wouldn’t want to do. When the robots start to get smarter than me, well, them time to shut them down. After all we cannot have robots smarter than us. I’ll just have a more stupid robot remade.

Wouldn’t it be cool to have a care like Kit, from Knight Rider. I would be able to travel across the country. When I get tired, ACE, would just take over. ACE is Audra’s Computer Experiment.

Although, I could imagine getting in fights with the computers. It would be funny to tell the computer I wanted ¬†a Pepsi, and then get a 7-Up instead. i wonder which would win the shouting match, me or ACE. See ACE isn’t just for your car, its operational in the house as well. Oh boy, better hurry this story along. I am sounding like a walking advertisement. ūüôā

The yelling matches between us and the computer would kind of remind me of the old beer commercials. “LESS FILLING, LESS TASTE.” I can just imagine me yelling, “I want a Pepsi.” And ACE yelling back, “7-Up is just as good.”

The Encounter

The night smelled like a frigid, cold front was coming. That was what she though as she readies herself. She never thought of the weather smelled. Today, though, she wanted to remember everything. The news said there was a storm coming. She hoped they were wrong. She wanted everything to be perfect tonight.

She finished putting her makeup on. Not too much, just a little blusher and mascara. Her hands kept shaking and she tried so hard to quit. Then she decided on what to wear. Should she wear pants, shorts, a skirt or a dress. She discarded the idea of shorts, way too cold. Well, too cold for a skirt or a dress. So pants, hmmm. Dressy or jeans. She picked out a nice pair of black, dressy jeans. She grabbed her baby blue Angora sweater. She wanted to look perfect when she saw him for for the first time. Her father! The first time ever seeing her dad.

She had so many questions for him. Where was he on her first day of school? Where was he on her birthday? Had he thought of her on any of her 34 Christmases. Did he care that at the age of 10, her mom’s boyfriend hurt her? That man had beat her so bad there wasn’t a spot on her body that wasn’t black and blue.

So many questions floated through her mind, as she locked her front door and went to the driver’s side of her car. As she pulled out of her driveway, she said a prayer, “Please God, let this meeting answer all my questions. Let this be the meeting you mean for it to be.”

The Graduate’s Speech

The young man smiled at the crowd that had gathered at his medical school graduation. Before he began his speech, he took a second to look back over the past 10 years. In spite of everything, he was here. He had made it. Now he was the valedictorian of Harvard Medical School, class of 2010.

He began his speech by thanking the faculty, students and blah-blah. The he shocked everyone by saying, “I wished I could thank my parents or family but I can’t.” He went on to tell his story. He was abandoned at the K-Mart parking lot in the small Oregon town when he was only 10.

Before he reached the age of 18, he had moved from foster home to foster home. A total of 38 foster homes in all. At 18, he was dropped off at the men’s homeless shelter by his social worker. She left him at the door ¬†with only $500.

“However,” he tells the crowd, “I’m here and I made it. If I can make it through medical school, then so can you. You can put your mind to anything. You can dream as big as you want. Any dream is possible. You HAVE¬†to believe in yourself.”

He took his seat next to the college president. As he looked out, there wasn’t a dry eye in the crowd. To himself he thinks, “Life is so good to me. Thank you, Heavenly Father.”

Memories

Sometimes, something catches our eye. Then suddenly we are catapulted with memories. Has this ever happened to you? Let me know.

The beautiful rose garden flourishes in the sunlight. In particular, there is one rose bud that catches my eye. As I walk by, with nowhere else to go, I stop on the sidewalk. The color of the rosebud is just so beautiful.

It is the softest blue that takes me back to the days of my high school. His eyes were that color. Baby blue that seemed to pierce right through to my soul when he would look at me.  He broke my heart. I bring myself back to the rose garden.

Again, my mind wonders to the day I said goodbye to my mom.  The sky was so clear and blue. The color seemed to match the color of my mood, so sad.

I touch the beautiful rose bud. It’s¬†marshmallow¬†soft. It takes me to the day my daughter was born. her beautiful, brown and curly hair was that soft. I bring myself back to the present.

I force myself to walk away. Amazing how a beautiful rose garden flourishes in the sunlight.